Have you ever felt not yourself? On the outside you look happy. Social media shows you’re happy. People thinking you’re nailing it in life. Yet you know your truth. You are withering away buried under a mountain of responsibilities you have from where you inherited it. You don’t even know yourself anymore. When did you stop being creative, intuitive, wise, and wild? When did you stop feeling fulfilled?

There are periods in a woman’s life when she feels pressured to be someone she has no interest in being. Pressure to be beautiful, a good wife, a mother, or a martyr at work. She feels obligated to please everyone. What may begin as service turns into entrapment. The house, marriage, and career become cages. 

She begins to deprive herself of all the things that make her feel alive: art, dance, nature, sisterhood. She goes on a creative diet and soon enough she feels starved, ravenous, and sometimes goes mad. She displays erratic behavior in the form of drug abuse, promiscuity, pseudo-altruism (volunteering too much of her time, energy, and money), angry protest. Anytime a woman starves herself of anything, that hunger will rear its head sooner or later and she will reach for anything in her vicinity whether she wants it or not. 

Anytime a woman chooses what seems like “the good life” because she is so tired of hustling or of being hurt, the cost is loss of vitality.

Examples are a woman marrying a rich man even though she despises him, accepting a high level position for prestige and money, purchasing a home because it’s the adult thing to do, or having children because it would make her parents happy. It may be fun for a bit and seem like the right thing but what ensues is a bitter resentment, depression, panic attacks, rage, dishonesty, and cheap thrills just to get back a momentary feeling of elation. The hunger is inevitable. I have felt it countless times in my life and I’ve seen it in countless women.

There’s a distinction between being enamored with what appears in a smoking mirror and true fulfillment.

Retail therapy, having multiple hot lovers, or taking on admirable causes just to numb pain will keep a wild woman hungry.

However, when a woman creates time to be still, to ask the real questions to which she yearns the answers, and opens herself up to listen; that is when she will return to her true desires, passion, and innate creativity. She will return to art, to philanthropy, to authentic relationships. Slowly she will fill herself up again and stop giving away her vital energy from a place of pleasing others. Instead she will give from fullness and joy. She is never depleted. She is real in her emotional expression. She is detached from praise and criticism. She has infinite faith and receives infinitely.

A fulfilled woman stops chasing euphoria, numbing the pain of existence, and hurting herself. A fulfilled woman doesn’t have a need for addictions to sex, food, drugs, social media, competition, judgment (of self and others). A fulfilled woman can weather storms inside herself and around her. She knows the truth and knows that life is about ups and downs. She knows that chasing shining objects and listening to everyone else around her except herself is a losing game.

Because a fulfilled woman doesn’t rely on validation from others, she moves in the world with light and confidence. She is invincible. She is unstoppable. She is never alone.

Have you moved away from your creativity and inspiration?

What will it take to return to nourishing yourself so that the hunger doesn’t overwhelm you? What will it take to stop pleasing others so you can be fulfilled again? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below.

with radical pleasure,

Sophia