I’m reading Women who run with the wolves. If you have read this book, you know how intense it is. I have to read a page at a time. Every paragraph triggers me. My poor partner is my punching bag when I’m deep into reading it. Every thing I have learned about being a creative woman is crumbling. First of all, calling myself a creative woman is a whole new phenomenon. Why am I being triggered every second?
The book is about the wild and wise woman (or man if you’re a dude) buried under a massive pile of shit that has been accumulating through the brainwashing I have received from my parents, from television, from academia, etc. I don’t usually get on a soapbox but my days of feminism and how passionate I felt are rising up again. Except I know what it means now. Feminism means equality; I get to live any way I damn please. It means my thoughts, ideas, and opinions matter. It means I get to be feminine and have my partner do stuff for me like open doors, and pay for me, and plan and take care of me, protect me, etc. I get to dance and frolic and my partner gets to be my rock and safe container. Yep and I’m still feminist while being feminine. No glass ceiling here.
It’s about honoring myself. It’s about listening.
If you don’t listen to your intuition, it stops talking. For awhile. Everything is teaching me this and I’m seeing that it is true. I’m also reading Big Magic and that book is saying inspiration and ideas will immediately leave your doorstep if you do not open the door when they ring the bell.
It’s time to listen. Especially when it defies common sense or is the most terrifying action you could possibly take. Intuition doesn’t always make sense. Not to your cognitive brain. It defies logic and science because it is energetic.
I don’t have to get woo woo about it. If you stop and look back at your life and remember those times when you had a feeling about something and you actually listened to the feeling and did what it said and it maybe literally saved your life, then you know what I’m talking about. I don’t care how scientific you are or intellectual. You have a radio station that tunes into a frequency that is sometimes subtle and always right.
That’s not the point of this article though. The chapter I had just finished reading in Women Who Run With The Wolves was about going through vital stages (let’s call them rites of passage which we desperately lack in our American culture) to strengthen your connection to your intuition. One of the final pages stood out to me:
When we are connected to the instinctual self, to the soul of the feminine which is natural and wild, then instead of looking over whatever happens to be on display, we say to ourselves, “What am I hungry for?” Without looking at anything outwardly, we venture inward, and ask, “What do I long for? What do I wish for now?” Alternate phrases are “What do I crave? What do I desire? For what do I yearn?” And the answer usually arrives rapidly…
This is it, my friends. How many times in your life have you settled for something because it was in front of you? Are you continuing relationships because they are convenient or you are too afraid to find out what’s on the other side of choosing what you desire? Can you ask the question and be patient enough to actually receive it before you head to the buffet?
Time and time again I ask women: What do you desire? What makes you feel good? NOT: What feels ok or how can you move away from pain?
What do you crave?
Other variations: What do you love? What do you want more than anything? Ask yourself these questions as the solstice approaches and most of us go into an energetic hibernation. Ask yourself as you review 2016 (if you do and if you don’t, I highly suggest you begin). DECLARE what you desire your life to be. DECLARE the kind of relationship you want in your life. DECLARE the kind of partner you want, friends, clients. DECLARE IT!
I’m doing the same. Speak it, write it. Make it loud. OWN IT. I recently asked the question: What is your word for 2017 and received many responses. I know you all are craving an outlet for your dreams to be heard. I’d love to hear what you desire. I’d love to see you receive what you desire. A lot is changing for me in 2017 and I embrace it with open arms. I hope you will do the same. Big things are happening and I’m letting them.
I love you so much and desire pleasure, joy, and love, love, love for you!