Have you ever felt not yourself? On the outside you look happy. Social media shows you’re happy. People thinking you’re nailing it in life. Yet you know your truth. You are withering away buried under a mountain of responsibilities you have from where you inherited it. You don’t even know yourself anymore. When did you stop being creative, intuitive, wise, and wild? When did you stop feeling fulfilled? (more…)
I’m reading Women who run with the wolves. If you have read this book, you know how intense it is. I have to read a page at a time. Every paragraph triggers me. My poor partner is my punching bag when I’m deep into reading it. Every thing I have learned about being a creative woman is crumbling. First of all, calling myself a creative woman is a whole new phenomenon. Why am I being triggered every second?
I’m owning up to my shit. I’m owning both my gifts and my demons. That’s the life I live and intend to live because I have a finite amount of energy and time to invest (in this life and body).
I’ve spent A LOT of time seeing exactly who I am, who I’ve been, and who I desire to be. In the not so distant past, I’d spent many nights crying myself to sleep praying for a partner. I felt incomplete without one. I felt broken as if something was wrong with me. I was getting older. My 20s came and went and no partner or family. My 30s hit edging toward 40 and no partner or family. Yea that was me for at least a decade. A DECADE. I prayed and prayed and the universe brought me exactly what I asked for. While I yelled and cried saying I wasn’t getting what I wanted, I was getting exactly what I was asking for. (more…)