Get out of your head and into your body

Get out of your head and into your body

Body. Body. Body. It’s loud.

Around New Year’s my body started to hurt in familiar ways. Years ago I developed chronic back pain as a symptom of the sedentary, uninspired life I was living. I worked in a hospital and hid from my passions, from my shadows, and from my calling. I was bored and wanted nothing to do with being a therapist. I was a mess emotionally and didn’t allow myself to feel anything. I distracted myself with occasional weed, sex, and mundane work. The pain would not go away no matter what I did. I tried yoga therapy and pilates. I had scans done. Nothing was structurally wrong. (more…)

Healing from loss

Healing from loss

“Get over it”. How many times have you heard that? “Buck up” or “have thicker skin”. “It’s been (insert time period) days/weeks/months/years, why are you still (insert feeling)?” I’ve said these words to myself (and others). I sometimes hear myself saying the word “still” and in one conversation, my good friend pointed out to me that I was judging her process as if she is allowed a certain amount of time to grieve and then it’s time to move on or detach. I’m impatient and dislike pain and discomfort. Shocking. I want to stop feeling sadness, hatred, and regret right now. I want to forgive myself and my ex-boyfriends: all of them, dating back to the beginning of time. I’ll have a good day or week and then BAM – back to crying, being flooded by memories, and wanting more than anything to escape into someone else’s arms. Happy feelings only please! (more…)