Why Intimacy is Eluding You

Why Intimacy is Eluding You

The response is the same for pretty much every woman I speak with – fear of intimacy. Fear of opening up. Fear of getting close. Fear of being rejected. Fear of getting hurt. It’s all the same thing. It’s Fear. (more…)

The Pleasure Principle: Start the crusade

 

Well, I learned something new again this week. Apparently there are folks who are afraid of PLEASURE. They’re triggered by the word itself and want to run in the opposite direction. I recently launched my comprehensive program to work with conscious women and men to end self-violence and create more pleasure in their lives. I sent details of the program to several people – clients, trusted friends, and entrepreneurs – and received mixed feedback. What struck me was how seeing the word PLEASURE even in the title made people squirmy. (more…)

Get out of your head and into your body

Get out of your head and into your body

Body. Body. Body. It’s loud.

Around New Year’s my body started to hurt in familiar ways. Years ago I developed chronic back pain as a symptom of the sedentary, uninspired life I was living. I worked in a hospital and hid from my passions, from my shadows, and from my calling. I was bored and wanted nothing to do with being a therapist. I was a mess emotionally and didn’t allow myself to feel anything. I distracted myself with occasional weed, sex, and mundane work. The pain would not go away no matter what I did. I tried yoga therapy and pilates. I had scans done. Nothing was structurally wrong. (more…)

Don’t let them win: the two “sins” that erode relationships

 

This week has been challenging. In the process of doing self-work – knowing, trusting, and loving myself, developing strong boundaries, exploring within different kinds of relationships – I knew it was bound to happen. I’d been sailing along smoothly feeling content, happy, loved, appreciated, valued, and useful when they quietly crept up on me. It was subtle at first but then I started reacting more and more as the week progressed. I began to feel triggered by different people who themselves were experiencing a variety of circumstances. It has hit me hard and it has felt really scary. Mostly I was afraid I would fall back into old patterns. (more…)

Trust yourself and stop bargaining

Trust yourself and stop bargaining

I’m in the process of making a choice regarding my living situation and I’m a little scared. What I fear is making the “wrong” choice. I fear attracting the wrong situation and person into my life. Really what I fear the most is feeling hurt (well that, and stressed).  

With every person you allow into your sphere, you are risking loss and love. In the Buddhist tradition, suffering comes from attachment and avoidance: to love and of pain, respectively. Boy, ain’t that the truth. Think about when you close down and put up a wall, could it be fear of trusting and letting someone in? (more…)

Unexpected empowerment: Step into fear

Unexpected empowerment: Step into fear

Step into fear. Do it intentionally without thinking about it. Once you start to think, you’ll talk yourself out of it. Here’s a story about walking toward fear and the unexpected empowerment I received. Welcome to my world. I am not bequeathed with special skills that allowed me to do what I did and become what I became. This is your story too. (more…)