Know when to care without care-giving

Know when to care without care-giving

A good friend of mine texted me last week saying she felt much better after she realized she was caring too much about the happiness of her friends. She is a worrier and experiences anxiety often. She often finds herself caring-giving for others and making vast assumptions about what people need. When her assumptions are wrong, she feels great disappointment. She made the assumption that her friend was suffering and she wanted to take care of her. I believe she felt burdened by her friend’s troubles. Turns out her buddy was fine and she decided once and for all that she would stop worrying about how others are doing. She said she would wait for someone to ask her for help if they needed it. I told her she was wise and that she would feel much better now. I also told her that she needed to stop care-giving for everyone. She responded by saying she wasn’t going to stop caring for people. (more…)

What meaning are you ascribing in your relationships?

What meaning are you ascribing in your relationships?

Since starting to walk the path of consciousness and be present with what is happening moment to moment, I’ve been reflecting frequently on pain and suffering. There’s a lot of that to go around, especially in relationships – with friends, family, lovers, life-long companions, colleagues, and clients. I’ve noticed how debilitating pain can be – the experience of profound heart ache, emptiness in your chest, a deluge of harshly critical thoughts. These negative and intrusive thoughts are never far behind and wait patiently to enter your mind when you feel the most scared or vulnerable. I’ve been watching them like a security guard – some sneak by and others are swiftly blocked from entering my delicate and powerful mind. (more…)