My Intimacy & Pleasure Journey

Sophia Treyger

Opening up to yourself and others is hard. It’s vulnerable and scary. Let’s try it together because when you do, you feel more connected to yourself and others. I’ll start…

I have always been fascinated by the mind, how people come together, relationships, sexuality, and how they are all connected. I studied psychology in college and I have a Master’s degree in couple and family therapy with a specialty in sex therapy.

I’ve been a therapist for over 15 years and I’ve worked with children, families, individuals, groups, and couples. I’ve taught psychology, human sexuality, adult sex education, and I’ve facilitated workshops for individuals and couples. I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2013. First I started a mindful food business, Mindfoodness, as a personal chef, vegan coach, and cooking instructor. Now I’m a Sex & Intimacy Coach for conscious women and men. This is my true passion and calling.

That’s the technical stuff. Here’s the juicy stuff…

I have always been fiercely independent. No one could penetrate my wall. I was very good at shutting people out and I had a thick, heavy armor around me. I didn’t know how to be vulnerable or truly intimate with anyone, even with those I loved and trusted deeply (I didn’t trust many people). I became adept at entering and leaving relationships so I could avoid pain and discomfort. I did anything to suppress pain. My drugs of choice were work, relationships, and sex.

My real education came from years of being a serial monogamist (with a detour into polyamory for a short while) and exploring my sexuality within many relationships with men. Every relationship shone a light on an aspect of me I didn’t see (or want to see). Unfortunately I used men and relationships to numb the pain of loneliness and loss. Read more about my addiction here.

For most of my life, I didn’t feel connected to much. I didn’t feel passionate about anything. I didn’t feel close to people or to myself. I was drifting through life doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I was drifting in and out of relationships looking desperately for “the one” so I could “settle down” with a husband and children. I was brainwashed into thinking this was the only path to happiness. While looking for “the one” for so many years and continually betraying myself, I completely lost myself and experienced painful trauma (i.e. rock bottom).

Sophia TreygerThe only thing I knew how to do well was be a therapist. I was on a clear career path but something wasn’t right. Something was never right. I was good at my job but I was miserable and it began to manifest physically (I developed chronic back pain and suffered from chronic depression). I was bored and uninspired. My relationships were superficial. In most social situations, I felt extremely lonely and I didn’t belong. I usually sabotaged relationships. I lived with two opposing voices inside me and one usually muffled the other. Whenever I would think about changing my life or taking a risk, one voice would keep me in fear telling me I was worthless and that I needed to be satisfied with my life. It would tell me to keep my mouth shut and not ruffle feathers. It would tell me to be obedient and act selfless. The voice kept me mistrustful, paranoid, depressed, and lonely.

The other voice was calm, positive, curious, and happy. She would tell me to go for what I wanted even if it didn’t make sense. She told me I needed to change my life because I was playing small. She wanted me to be close to people and she encouraged me to open up to people. Slowly, this voice began to win just by being loving. This voice cared for me when I was in pain. When I started to listen to this loving voice, I started to become the woman I’ve always wanted to be (and knew I was). I started to awaken to my amazing self.

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First, to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

– Rumi

It took many years, many failed relationships, trauma, and a lifetime of self-violence to finally stop and declare NO MORE. I didn’t want to play small. I wanted to be happy with myself. I wanted to be my own best friend. I wanted to know and trust myself. I wanted to rely on myself and my wise intuitive voice. I wanted to stop using relationships and sex as drugs. I wanted to love people without expecting something in return.

Through walking many paths and experiencing many practices, I’ve discovered how to connect deeply to myself and how to be intimate with everyone in my life. Vulnerability is a super power and I am rewarded daily when I open up. I’m continually learning how to honor my boundaries and those of others. I have an incredible community of men and women in my life who support me as friends, collaborators, and colleagues. My friendships are richer and deeper, even the romantic ones. I’m not so focused on finding “the one.”  I appreciate all who enter my sphere.

“Animals have sex. We are the only ones who have an erotic life, which means that it’s sexually transformed by the human imagination.”

– Esther Perel

So here I am, the Radical Pleasurist & Intimacy Coach for those that want to awaken to themselves, teaching single women the same practices that I use daily to open up & feel close to experience genuine intimacy, fulfillment, empowerment, appreciation, love, joy, and peace. Learn what I mean by intimacy here.

I’d love to share these practices with you and to walk alongside you, beautiful one. I truly desire for you to choose yourself first, to choose courage, and to open yourself up to love and passion.

No more self-violence.
No more betrayals.
No more being a martyr.
No more living by obligation.
No more living in fear.
No more listening to the voice that keeps you hidden.
No more settling.
It begins with you.
It’s time to receive.

with pleasure and joy,


Sophia Treyger

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